What If I Don’t Know What I Want for My Birth?
When you're pregnant, one of the most common things people ask is:
"What's your birth plan?"
And if you're not quite sure how to answer, you’re not alone.
Whether this is your first baby or your third, it’s completely normal to feel uncertain about how you want your birth to go. Maybe you’ve read the books, seen the videos, or heard a dozen birth stories—and now your head is spinning. Maybe you haven’t done any of that yet and don’t even know where to begin.
Let me say this clearly:
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan
Birth planning isn’t about mapping out every detail or scripting every moment. In fact, it’s rarely that straightforward. Labor unfolds in real time, with real emotions, real bodies, and sometimes real surprises. What matters most is that you feel:
Safe
Heard
Supported
Having a birth that feels peaceful and empowering doesn’t require a checklist—it requires connection, education, and trust.
Ask the Right Questions
If you’re feeling unsure, it might help to shift the questions you’re asking yourself. Instead of “What kind of birth do I want?” try asking:
How do I want to feel during birth?
What kind of support would help me stay calm and confident?
What fears or questions do I need space to explore?
What would make me feel respected, even if the plan changes?
These questions open the door to deeper, more meaningful preparation. They guide you toward clarity that’s rooted in your values, not pressure.
This Is Where a Doula Comes In
One of my favorite parts of supporting families is helping them discover what matters most. You don’t need to show up with a fully formed birth plan on day one. We explore it together, over time.
I’ll walk with you as you learn about your options—whether that’s understanding how labor tends to unfold, what hospital policies might come into play, or how to communicate your wishes to your provider.
Together, we’ll create a birth approach that feels aligned with you—not just your provider, your friends, or social media.
You Don’t Have to Know It All. You Just Have to Start.
Sometimes clarity comes slowly. And that’s okay. Birth doesn’t demand perfection—it invites presence.
So if you’re sitting with a lot of “I don’t know yet,” take a breath. You don’t have to do this alone.
Let’s start with a conversation and go from there.
